how i envy every girl could have their love once

how i envy every girl could have embrace their love once

how i envy every girl could have kiss their love once

cause mine haven't started yet

cause what i want has not been mine before

cause what i wish has not come true yet 

every time i read post about love, 

you are the one appears in my mind's cloud

i miss the time when we use to be so close 

i miss the time when we use to talk about anything

i miss the time when we use to have fun with each other

i miss the time when we have anything to talk during that time .

but all have changed

i don't know why 

because you have already known the truth??

about how i felt for you ?

and you don't know how to face it ?

just let me know!

rather than being this condition now 

now we are not free to talking as we done once

now we are not having fun as we have done once

now we got nothing more nothing extra to talk like once we did before 

i miss the time

i wish to turn back the time 

i wish i could have keep my feeling deep in my heart 

so it would escape and show it on my face and let the rest them gossiping about ti 

may be im not the girl you wish to be with 

but at least as a friend,

simple friend, 

i wouldn't mind about it. 

all i want is to be with you even we are just friend and nothing else more

every time i keep comfort my self, 

i keep trying telling my self 

that 

one day! you will turn around and looked at me 

one day! you will turn around and be mine

because i have been waiting for you ever since that very 1st day .

the sadness of mine is so different with other who just broke up 

the sadness of mine is kind of pathetic.

will you ??

will you turn back?

will you once look at me ?

will you once turn to be mine and say

" thank you for waiting me " 

will this day coming ?

will this happens before it is too late??

will . not 

this video will be the best video to describe about what i feel now 

just this simple 

New Semester

New semester 来了

考试成绩不是很理想

虽然是pass完了，

但是还是不喜欢这样的成绩

新学期开始了!!

会常常问老师我的不明白的问题了。

不“冲” 不行啊
为了读好班

为了出人头地

为了让自己成功!!

我无论多苦都还是会撑下去
无论如何都会勤劳读书上课!!!

加油

加油

加油

!!!!!!!

GAMBATEH !!

我行的!!

准备好，冲了！ 拼命了！！

发泄出了心中不满已经好很多了

最近都不太爱说话

不知道为什么但我觉得我没有必要

在说下去了

因为说了也不会有任何的更改

还是在这里把不满的感觉

画下句号吧。。

i never knew what is this call

i never know this will last until now

i never know when will i end this feeling 

i also never know when i will stop loving you 

♥
♥

♥

all i know 

♥

♥

♥

i care about you 

i miss you so much 

i never love longer than i love you 

i found out today that i still love you so much 

♥♥

i have been trying to delete my love to you 

i have been trying to love others to forget you

i have been trying not to care for you 

i have been trying so much not to love you 

♥
♥

♥

but i think i 

can't do it 

♥

♥

♥

every time i see ur profile i falling for you again 

every time i see ur picture i start missing you again

every time we message i will unwilling to delete it from my mail box

every time you sad i feel sad for you 

♥
♥

♥

no matter 

♥

♥

♥

who you like,i still silently love you 

who you like, i still support you 

who you like, i won't stop you loving her

who you like, i never EVER want to spoil ur relationship

cuz i know you care for her,you love her.

i don't know 

i am not clear

i don't understand 

is this call love??

what kind of love is this?

why i acting like this.

又是一个浪费时间的一天了。。

因为现在假期。。

本来是在更改blog的。。

我尽量改一些好听的歌去放进blog里面

但是找了又找

最后呢就看了歌的mv 了

看了：

萧亚轩-EVA 的《错的人》

好伤心，好触感哦。

Kiss- 《because  im a girl》

每次看都会掉泪

Bii - 《转身之后》
好感动， 好伤心

都好伤心

心里就开始一直想着不想要遇到这些事

因为真的很让人痛心

但是我真的好想要好好哭一次

因为我觉得我受伤的伤痕还在滴血，

想好好掉一次泪。

Falling in Love

the moment of starting falling in love is sweet.
or should i say the moment when a guy keep treating you 

so good, so good
for a new relationship feels so nice.

but no one ever knows that after the few weeks of starting to know each other
will be like 

HELL!!!

you may feel still continue feel sweet
but,
i was never feel so sweet

all my relationship was never better than each past relationship

i feel so sad
therefore if one day someone ask me
"am i happy with my present relationship"

my ans will be
" i am happy during the starting of the relationship"

i duno, may be is my problem!!
i sometime personally do feel i dun have any love
to give out for the another person.

i very sad, suffocating
with all this!!

feels so lonely when i realize i dun have a person 

to talk with about 

my happiness, my life, my sadness, my disappointment, my success,
other than my friend beside me.

i wish to have another person different status from my friend

would share all this with me
and he will share his with me .

all i hope was just a simple relationship,
simple relationship

JUST simple RELATIONSHIP

is all i had been wishing for .

and i have been 

waiting

♥ 

waiting

♥

waiting 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥until i found him ♥

What i Want!!

i dun think a normal relationship is what i want.
  i feel the loneliness is not normal loneliness
duno since when i have this kind of loneliness.

who will be my doctor to cure this loneliness??
 i still can't find the HIM that belongs to Me.
i dun even given a chance to have find for him.

i dun feel any love in the previous relationship.
     all i felt is just the emptiness in my life.

                               

                            loneliness

2nd of 9Sept 11

today, i thought i've slept until 1 in the afternoon alrdy,but when i look at the clock, it was only 11.30am.
normally during this raya week holiday i slept very late and wakes up very late too..i woke up around 12.30 or nearly to 1 pm


today,mummy go to work already. daddy appeared in the news paper again ..hehe ..
im right now sitting in front of my dearest laptop, updating my blog, chatting in facebook and update my best romance book list. i take out all the books and put in on my table rite beside my laptop then i start updating.


in case who ever reading my this post that never ever read before romance novel,i suggest you grab one and read now. not that because inside is all about steamy reading materials, but the story is nice..
the way the writer wrote it,describe everything,every place during that year...i will be so different from any novel you've read.haha..that is my opinion..hope you'll find another feeling than me


nothing much to write down today since my life is so much a bored life..
well, another thing now in my mind, my head is about my final exam.
i haven't even start studying now when all my friend started to study a lot...
what am i suppose to do ....OMG!!

Me and Gina(the malaysian char bor)

          Today i've spent the day with my friend Gina Bhalan who called her self the Malaysian Char Bor.
i helped her starting her own blog and she named the blog of her's as the Malaysian Char Bor, this really gives me blast laugh!! What a unique title i ever heard.
Well, i went to her house is actually because of returning her steamy reading materials and get new one to read.
Today i felt quite tiring, and i duno why. im easily tired today. i feel sleepy too..LoL..

          Thought that i would spend my whole 1 week holiday with my wife a.k.a my greatest friend in the whole universe,but who knows she is now in money eyes now,she rather work and dun even try to get some time to study for her final that is after this Raya holiday week. Speaking of which,i dun even start study for my final too. Even is on the 20th of Sept, but still is near and im worried that i dun even start studying at all.
         
           Haiz...today my temper is a bit of out of control. i've been shouting towards my brother in the morning, and after i came back from my friend Gina's house. would it because of i just got my period back??..
No idea...haha..

No idea what've got into me ..

to be honest, i've don't know what've got happened on me .
im moody,im emo,im sad,im depressed

i hate this feeling.

recently, my dai yi mah always not on track,make me so dam sum.
go see doctor,doctor say maybe is my hormone got problem.
haiz....why is this kind of things happen to me ???
he oso say if i put on weight and the situation keep on i might going to the path of diabetes man !!!
DIABETES leh, dun play play o ...
it's a long life term of suffer leh >< walao,give me die i oso dun wan get this kind of sickness...

i never intake sweets,sweet carbonated drinks,any sweet stuff, even stopped my junk food so so long ago.
suddenly tell me that i might have this DIABETES call me go jump building i oso will jump de loh rather than get this kind of sickness.

now the only thing is wish,hope and pray to god for me not getting this sickness...><

im sad and emo  is because from fb i known a guy who have heart diseases,it is the third final stage le ..
he can go at anytime,the more i think about, the more im sad.

although i dun know him as well as my greatest friend, but still im sad because of his sick ...
i dun like bad things happen arround me.
i hate funeral, i hate all this negative things...

who can help me??drag me out of this kind of situation ...

5/8/11(Friday)

Friday

friday is always a free day to me .. 

♥
♥

today i got morning class at 8 am till 10 am
although is a morning class
very difficult to get up this early.
but i did make it.


today my plan is to go shopping,
alone

my shopping list is 

♥ buy clothes

♥buy shoes

♥buy comics

♥buy some new makeup accessories 

♥some hair accessories

♥books perhaps

but i think i end up buying only few things
i can't get to buy clothes cuz is is too expensive

♥this both picture is hair clip accessories.♥

♥this both picture is my new shoe i bought from my shopping♥

although i didn't get to buy the clothes that i wanted to buy
but i got all this above

University's Life

i can feel my eyes are swollen
i can feel my body's temperature keep changing

i can feel the dizzyness of my head.

base on all this, i know if i continue the situation without
a rest
i know, i will fall down one day

CUZ I HAVEN'T SLEEPS FOR FEW DAYS!!

i can feel that my ability of staying up or be active has been
dramastically DECREASED!!

im tired of this kind of life,
i need some rest,
i need so space to breath,
i need to have somebody to support all the way.

my head are spinning while im typing the blog,
my eyes are like swollen while im typing this blog,

and all my hardwork,my time, my strength
on my work
was not appreciated by the group.
am i useless to you all??
when you all need me then you all ask for my help,
when you all dun need me
you will left me alone by the side
just like the child who are being left out by their parents by the road.

you may think that i've might be a bit dramatically,
but what i wrote now, here
is true, is the truth.!
what you are reading now is what im going through now!!

My life

i recently busying with my Uni's project.

a lot of thing happened around me recently.

all kind of problem, relationship,task, assignment and etc.

i think twice right now in front of my laptop, 

i dun think that i have solve the problem clean and sound.

i dun think that i have completely solve the problem.there are still got some left over from the problem.

recently, my friendship between my group of friend have changed....

changed into so unknown to me...i dun have the feel of friendship between them but just a feeling that we've been using each other all this time...the friendship bridge is just a appearance looking but the inside is just nothing but an empty tin.

i feel unsafe with them, i keep have the feeling of i've been used by people that i wished to have a long relationship. 

speaking about this something happen, one of my core sub have a group assignment. A group assignment are meant to finish together in a team, but i dun feel that im one of member in that particular team. i mean, the group have meeting about the assignment, but i never ever once knew about that it is so pathetic...it makes me feel that im not exist,not important to them at all. well then, if that case, then there is no friendship bond between us...until one day after class i wonder and ask them whether they have started to do the assignment?? then the person a.k.a friend told me that they have finished it. i was so surprise to hear that, cuz i got no idea what are they doing, what are they putting in the assignment. then she continues, she said since im not doing anything, so i will be the one to present the group and talk. it really hurts me more than i felt down, i feels like being bang by a big truck that come out of no way suddenly. 

other than that, i found that i dun even ever belong to that group of friend anymore. i suddenly feel so lonely, can i have my wife back???i nid her now by my side to comfort me that i still have her with me, i nid her now by my side walk with me up and down the whole day in the same campus. i just nid her now..~

im now groupless, friendless except the friends from same school in the campus, im all alone by myself in a stranger world. it is scary to stay in this kind of world.

Ѧʏ Ɔαмρʋƨ ˩ιғɛ

i duno where to start the story..cuz it had alrdy been a month i started my campus life and i was so buzy to stay in blogger to update my blog.


recently, i found out something new for me. For me i think is new, "may be".
well, as usual i can't get well in any group. i duno why, there is a barrier,and i duno how to break down the barrier.
it is hard for me to live this life with that barrier, im kind of  suffering with my life behind that barrier.
i feel lonely, i feel depress, i can't find my true own self.


at first, i was friend with him. he is nice,joker, even everybody hates him but for me, im still ok with it.
but recently i duno why i kind of not related with him as a friend anymore, we dun talk much.
everytime i ask him something, he will turn me down with a short answer like i duno, you ask lachelle la..
he is trying to treat me like some unknown or maybe something else, or am i really annoying him??


i duno, is my problem or his, am i reacting too over as a friend??am i already over the friendship border line??
i duno~


i duno what to do with my life, it is so miserable and suffocating...


when will get my life back??when will i get to live my life??i oso duno....haiz....

My 3rd Day In KL

3rd day in kl, 

we woke up early,

and prepare to go for sunway lagoon.

ѼѼѼ

by time we reach the sunway,the sky is dark and almost rain 

and there is a lot of people waiting over there to get in 

ѼѼ

then we decide to go for ice skating .

we skate after we have our lunch with my mum's cousin(aunt)

the food is nice, korean type.

then finish our lunch we go for ice skating

 my elder brother dare to move without holding the side bar.

then the 3 of us have to hold it.

then my sister feel bored and went out then followed by my little brother.

left me and my elder brother

while skating, my elder brother fell down 3 times 

and got one fellow didn't break then cross over his finger with the skate shoe and hurt his finger.

then i fell down around 3 times

and hurt my knees. after that we have to search for my sister

cause she went alone with my aunt to comic paradise.

wheew~~ spend a lot of time to find her,finding her part was so frustrating !!
all of us got mad at each other...
but finally we found her, then we went back at last...

My 2nd Day In KL

The 2nd Day

ѼѼѼѼ

the very 1st thing i did on the 2nd day morning is...
swimming!!!!

i go swimming with my brother and sister.

i been looking forward this day to come

it has been a long while i never swim in a swimming pool.

i am so happy to swim again just like a fish been longing to into the water.

then we went time square

shop!!

mostly mom shop my clothes.

 ѼѼѼ

 then we went to lauyat all is the techno world equipment.

laptop,camera,ps,iphone 4,ipad 2...etc..

then we go to sungai wang

but we never buy anything over there

then mommy rushing us to go back early

so we no need to squeeze with all the workers in the mrl

then we have our dinner near cheras too.

near the rest. there is a pet shop

in there,there's a lot of pet,i love one of the dog shih tzu 

it is so so so so cute.

then i shift my concentration to other things so that i won't keep on thinking about the dog

after that we bought some accessories for dog and my hamster.

then we head back to grandaunt house.

still the same we have chit chat then we go back to our hotel.

 waiting for the night to pass over..

ѼѼѼ

My Days in KL

Ahahaha~

i ponteng my classes and go KL trip with my family~

Ѽ

Ѽ

we stay in the hotel that we usually went 

 we reach about three something 

then we go to my grandaunt house

when we reach,she is not in

ѼѼѼ

so my family went to a small old groceries shop

to buy some basic daily groceries

and we go back there to her house.

then we went for dinner around 8 something 

cause we waiting for my aunt..

the dinner was nice,and we ate so full.

i've forgotten how many dishes we ordered 

but is was much,a lot of the food was finished by me and my sibling

then we stop by my aunt house at cheras 

ѼѼѼѼ

have a little chit chat then we went back grandaunt house in tun sambahtan 

then we continue somore chit chat and we went back to our hotel around 12 am,

then i have time to shot some pictures..

haha~~Too SS

we slept around 1 something..

  ѼѼѼ

My Orientation Week in MMU

oooh!!!!!~~~

so looong never drop by here and update my blog luu~

busy??of course with my orientation week in mmu!!

♥
♥
♥

my week in mmu for orientation so enjoyable!!

im in a green team.

my team animal is crazy monkey!!
♥
♥
♥
HUGA,HUGA,HUGA!!!
is our cheer!!

i love to be in green team!!
green are the best!!

there is no word best than
awesome,fun,excited.happy,nervous
to describe the orientation week!!!

thank god i never skip any day during orientation week!!
if i get to know that is damn fun  and i never attend it 
i'll regret for the rest of my life!!

University's orientation happen once in a life time
and i'll appreciate it and keep the memories last forever long!!!

MONKEY CHEERS!!
crazy monkey!!
crazy monkey~~
crazy monkeys,we are the crazy monkey!!
uh uh!!
o e o e o uh uh uh !!
o e o e o uh uh uh!!
o oe o oe o oe o!!
monkey awesome,monkey strong!!
we are the crazy monkey!!
banana boom!!ieu~~ pliak!!
i like to huga huga,
you like to huga huga,
we like to huga huga!!
we are monkeys~!!!!!
kingkonggorilla~~~

Nervous+ Excited!!

Wah!!!

♥

♥

tomorrow is the day to register in MMU !!

so Excited wah!!

♥

♥

♥

Finally, the day i've waited so long has come.

Finally i can go study le ...

ham fuk lo~~~♥♥♥

wish me luck ya!♥♥

i will do my very best in my study too...

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

今天早上。。

今天一大早就阴沉沉了

♥

♥

♥

下了好大雨哦

现在写部落格，外面的天空是这样的颜色的

今天很迟才吃早餐

nasi lemak

还有我亲自下厨的鸡蛋^_^ 

我超爱吃辣!! 所以我的饭都是红红的

sambal !!哇咔咔!!

♥

♥

♥

等下我就要帮妈妈扫地，抹地囖。

这几天都好期待快快开课

我已做好决定

我要读 Law course.

当然我已经报名了

不去就浪费钱噜。

♥

♥

♥

today 25th May

today morning

go ayer keroh klinik for my teeth scaling..

i hate scaling so much so much !!

cuz i dun like the feeling when i do scaling.

today morning i woke up around 8 ++ 

then bathe.

then go clinic.

my waiting number is 1011 

wait wait 

until boring.

♥

♥

♥ 

thank god my honey message, 

i thought 

her orientation canot sms de,

thanks to her,

accompany me while waiting for my turn
...
>< hate scaling..

my honey go perak le ...

wuwu~..

very sad sad when my honey leave malacca le ...

she have to go perak study, so far away from malacca.

heart broken,cause need to separate with her,

cannot go out with her

♥

♥

♥

cannot go yamcha with her,

ღ

ღ

  ღ  

cannot go shopping with her

♥

♥

♥

cannot go find her face to face  

so sad to be separate with her....

honey call me dun sad sad,

we still can contact each other in hp, on9 webcam, long call etc

but how oso i still feel sad, 

but how oso still not the same as face to face

but how oso still not the same as near as possible.

i miiss her so much!!! very very miis her.. ><

cries whenever i think about she leave me, leave her house

cry,when i think again the moment she go into the car to go perak..

dun worry, i won't go find other girl in my U, you will always be the one in my life

love you

always

ღ

ღ

ღ

   

i thought that i will be boring today whole day,since i finish all the things i need to prepare for my application.

my grandaunt alrdy booked me for lunch,her great tasty nasi lemak at her house.

after that, we have a great talk. 

we talk much^__^ i love to talk.p.s 

so i thought i would come back home and come back here(blogspot) to finish my blog design etc.

during the time while i was chatting with my grands, my best fren aka wife ( yogesh) text me to go out with her to the new Aeon jusco bandaraya melaka. now...i'm presenting the conversation between both of us

yo: ur free not ?

me: y???

yo: want follow me go new jj a while

me: what time for??

yo: 3... wna buy smtg

me: im not at home nw

yo: wer r u den?

me: my grand aunt hse eat nasi lemak

yo:wa~bhind da jusco wan arh.

me: yup

yo: u wan me cm der fetch u?

me: me wear very teruk my tshirt ok my pants ama pants

yo: i bring u to ur hs den u change den we go k

me: me no key

yo: alamak... den how?

me: if i gt the key u want come bring?

yo: yeap

me: i tel u when i gt my key

yo: k

me: k

after that, my uncle bring my siblings to there to eat nasi lemak oso,so i ask him to bring me home, i want to change. then,i quickly took a bath and change without combing my hair and ask him to fetch to yo's house^__^thn after not long wait for her to change we go to jj^_^.

in jj, we go popular buy her things, than go comic paradise buy my comic. then we go see clothes(acewin) then voir then both of us go for sushi @__@ ♥♥

after that we when up to go s& j buy my video cam stand, we past by comic paradise my work partner(eugenia) gave us each a balloon (GSC).LoL ღღ

then after that we go buy the stand in the shop yogesh keep calling me look at the teddy bears, all are so cute ♥ღ.

both of us have a blast laugh when we look the angry bird teddy LoL..so cute & funny. Then we look at other bears. after finish all that, we go to papajohn. she need to expenditure her relation before she go to perak for studies.after finish ordering for delivery, we went back to kampung chetti to get her cousin to drove us back cuz he wants the car back.but he was not in. the moment we on the way back the papajohn deliver man pass by, we hon him to wait we tell him the direction to go to yo's relation house. then we head back home.

on da way back, there is a beyonce's song on the radio,i copied her but it turns out to be a funny copy. both of us laugh till tears was out. then we reach bkt beruang. 

she wanted to have a look at my shih-tsu. but unfortunately "oreo" bark at her and scared her. lalala.  LoL 

after awhile with my dogs, she return home^_^ it was a great day with her, especially she is going to leave malacca soon and leave me T.T i will appreciate the time with her, all the joy we both been through together♥♥♥

Finally, I've Got It

i waited so long(for me is long enuf to suffer me)
i finally get my offer letter from MMU le ^__^

i'm god damn happy de lor~
i so scare i didn't get leh~,but now i got the letter liao, so happy o!!

i feel i want to scream loud loud de!! @.@

αиʏωαʏ,i feel happy!!too happy!!

"No Promises"

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

Here tonight

Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Everytime you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don’t want to run away, I want to stay forever, through Time and Time..
No promises

I don’t wanna run away, I don’t wanna be alone
No Promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love

No promises

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms

I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight.